The art of Connecting with People

Most people fail to understand the difference between the real and fictional/surface friends. We are human beings that have been born with the need to be loved and thus feel the need to connect and love in return. Yet how do you see giving and receiving love? Many perceive love differently and thus show it in different ways. Some people describe it as cuddling, talking with each other when in need or sad, sending hello messages every day, posting pics together on social media etc. My point is that true love, I am referring here for the time being to the “Agape” type of love - as there are many types of love, thanks to the Greek vocabulary - could be manifested through the active exchange of experiences, thoughts, ideas, goals and LASTLY feelings. From my point of view feelings cloud any possible straight judgement. Or - to please some of you out there - feelings are just the cherry on the cake, a bonus. This - I dare say - very well addresses the other love type, “Storge”, found in relationships too. (Don't throw anything at me yet :) - if you experience the following types of love in your relationship: eros, ludus, mania or pragma - you might need to do some introspection in your life).

How come? It is simple as it is - it is real, productive, truly satisfying on the long run and in the best case scenarios could last till the end of our lives. This implies challenging one another to do productive things, teaching one another, being honest, direct with each other (even if it about a wrong thing - aka - am I fat? Of course you are fat! You already know it - let's plan on doing some exercises) and making every conversation worth the time. Of course in the end some sort of feelings will start to develop, but long lasting for sure!

So, by the time you speak with someone you used to speak to for a long time, assess the degree to which your interlocutor makes or makes not a difference in your life and what impact do you have on their life in return. Then you will know the answer of how many real friends with real conversations you have.

Next time when someone teaches you something, assists you or help you out, does a lot of effort, challenges and tells you the truth directly - that's the real friend I am talking about and maybe you should hold on to that “someone” BUT remember to give back too - it will keep the challenge active on both sides.